Tag Archive | hadith

No Four Letter Words

Assalamu alaykum my Muslim sisters and brothers; Welcome to all non-Muslims


I would just like to quickly note, while I should have been perfecting what I want to say over the past few days I was instead spending time with my husband who had been away for a month. So please pardon me for being a little incomplete in my thoughts today.


I have a few goals in mind for improving myself as a Muslim which I will be sharing soon. But first I’d like to talk about a few things I already do in my everyday life that I see as part of my striving to be a good Muslimah. And trust me, I do have to strive for these things sometimes because they aren’t always easy to do, either for personal reason or simply because of the environment I am in. Anyway, our first topic: Swearing! I bring this up first because I want to make it clear here and now that cursing and swearing will not be tolerated here.


Growing up my mother would not allow any sort of obscenities to be spoken in the house. At it’s most extreme, when my sister and I were quite young we didn’t even talk about heaven and hell in the house. We talked about heaven and heck. Or heaven and “the other place.” That passed as we grew a bit older but the big ones you still can’t say on TV were still out of the question as well as damning anything or using hell out of context. We still weren’t allowed to say anything “sucked” unless we were talking about the vacuum cleaner and the words “this sucks” was followed by “up dirt really well.” Even some of the swearing alternatives were not allowed. “Crap” was still considered too vulgar but “crud” was acceptable. “Friggin’” or “fricken” (or however one might spell it) though not strictly forbidden was strongly disliked. “Freaking” could be used instead but still preferable only to refer to “freaking out.”


My point being I was raised not to use curse words. Being raised this way it was pretty much inevitable I went through a stage where I learned just about every swear there was and used them as often as I could out of a misplaced sense of maturity. This was roughly around 5th grade (about 11 years old.) Some time in middle school (junior high school – around 13 or 14 years old) I grew weary of the senseless use of these words and started being more sparing with them. Somewhere along the line I became disenchanted with them all together and gradually tried to drop them out of my vocabulary. Nowadays, I do my best not to say any vulgar words but in rare moments I have dropped an inappropriate “damn” and in a rather embarrassing incident a rather passionate “son of a bitch.”


In the Quran Allah says what  means: “Tell My servants that they should speak that which is best. Surely, Satan creates discord among them. Indeed, Satan is an open enemy to mankind.” (17:53 – Mufti Taqi Usmani traslation) And the prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Muslim does not slander, curse, speak obscenely or speak rudely.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said, this is a ghareeb hasan hadeeth; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani). So not swearing is largely a personal struggle and a goal one should try to achieve. We should strive to say only what is good and avoid speech which may cause harm. It could even be said the struggle not to swear is also part of jihad al-Shaytaan (which I’ll insha Allah discuss more next week.) It is difficult, however, to avoid bad talk here in the US. It’s just so commonplace and those who try to avoid swearing are often made fun of as “prudish” and “old fashioned.”


But despite these challenges I try my best to speak only beautiful words and not curse anything or anyone who does not deserve it. For the most part if I find myself about to swear I will try to not even let out the first sound of the curse word and just say very, very random words or garbled nonsense. Generally I find it very easy to say what I need to say without curse words, even if I’m very angry. While I do my best not to say these words, I still think these words in my head and that is my biggest challenge. Those words are still there, looming, tempting me to use them, making every day a challenge to continue speaking only that which is best. Insha Allah my struggle does not go unnoticed.


What is “My Jihaad”

Assalamu Alaykum to my Muslim sisters and brothers; Welcome to all non-Muslims readers.


This is only my first post so I’ll try to keep things brief. I won’t spend a lot of time trying to discuss the messy details of what jihad is or isn’t (that’ll be discussed over the course of many many other blog entries!) I will simply explain why this blog is “My Jihad” and my intentions with this blog.


First, a very little bit about jihad. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “jihad is of four kinds: Jihad al-nafs (jihad against one’s self), jihad al-Shaytaan (jihad against the Shaytaan), jihad against the kaafirs and jihad against the hypocrites.” From the sunnah of Abu Dawud: “Narrated Anas ibn Malik:The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Use your property, your persons, and your tongues in striving against the polytheists.” (book 14, hadith 2498)


Yes, part of what jihad means involves fighting. However, I am a woman and the fighting is not for the women except in certain cases when it becomes necessary (which will be discussed later.) I am also not in a situation where there is fighting so I strive for religion to be only for Allah through the dawah of this blog. Through this blog I mainly will share my struggle, my jihad, against my self and against Shaytaan. Not every post is going to be religiously over-toned either. You may often find me regaling you with tales of my everyday life as I strive to be a better Muslimah. And through these posts I hope to also strive against the kaafirs, hypocrites, and polytheists by means of my “tongue” (or writing, rather.)


I may play around with the templates a bit in the beginning and I don’t have a definitive “plan” with this blog just yet either. There will be a handful of posts about jihad of course, though (like many other Muslim blogs) I’ll likely post on other topics from time to time, as well as share articles, lectures, and fatawa of interest. However this will largely be a chronicle of my own personal growth and my own personal jihad. So join me in “My Jihad” and see how this Muslimah strives for the sake of Allah.